Mediumship is supposed to be about connection, healing and comfort— and even joy. So why do we need to talk about fear?
Because when you’re on your learning journey for mediumship, some form of fear will likely show up at one point or another. And that’s completely normal!
Whether you’re trying to connect with your own loved ones, or you’re learning to make connections for other people, you may fear:
- Making a mistake or being wrong
- Looking stupid or foolish
- Disappointing other people
- Being seen (being vulnerable)
- Being “bad” or “sinning” (going against religious upbringing)
- Having your trust betrayed
Sometimes we’re aware of our fears, sometimes not. But either way, these fears usually create blocks to our intuition — mediumship or otherwise. For example, you:
- criticize yourself for not being good enough — or not keeping up with your classmates.
- feel paralyzed or terrified of practicing in class when others are watching.
- doubt yourself or Spirit, or question whether mediumship “is even real.
- are too anxious to “settle down” or “trust” enough to make a connection.
Can You Relate?
These fears come from your “Critical Voice” — that negative, nagging voice almost all of us have. Sometimes we hear actual words, like “dumb” or “stupid.” Sometimes we just experience of a wash of negative feeling, especially shame or guilt.
We create this part of ourselves in our early childhood to be a protector. No matter how judgmental our Critical Voice may be, it always has a positive purpose. It wants to keep us safe.
But it thinks like a 4-year-old child! Because that’s about our age when we create it. And it’s born out of trauma, including “everyday” trauma. The more unresolved trauma we’re carrying, the more powerful our Critical Voice becomes. Again, because it is trying to be protective.
Mediumship Without Fear
We often say that learning mediumship is a journey of learning to trust and to overcome doubt.
Once YOU are in the driver’s seat — instead of your Critical Voice — you’ll be able to develop authentic, abiding trust in Spirit and in yourself.
You’ll find it easier to make connections and hold them longer. You’ll get more information from your Spirit Communicators, and you’ll be able to confidently accept those inevitable “no’s” from your Sitters.
Why Fear Persists
Your Critical Voice creates fear. Think about it: if you’re afraid of danger, you’re more likely to avoid situations where that danger could arise. (See the list at the beginning of this article!)
You may know your fear is irrational. You may try to talk yourself out of it. You can be totally aware — and yet, it’s still there. Ugh!!
Your Critical Voice is not just in your head. Yes, it’s in your thoughts and emotions. But it’s also in your body (your stomach in knots, sweaty palms, tension, and so on). And it’s in your energy system, those invisible flows of electromagnetic energy throughout and around your body.
And, if you’ve ever tried to reason with a 4-year-old, you know it’s futile. The same is true for your Critical Voice.
A First Step
So, what can you do about your Critical Voice?
First, observe yourself when fears arise:
- What words do you hear in your head?
- What emotions do you feel?
- What physical sensations?
Your Critical Voice will have patterns that you can learn to recognize.
Once you’re able to recognize your Critical Voice, you can use mind-body-energy techniques to calm your nervous system.
Then, you can create some “space” from your Critical Voice. Direct it to sit across the room from you, or even go into “time out.” Be authoritative in your tone — pleasant and firm.
Even still, your Critical Voice may present blocks or obstacles to your intuition and mediumship.
If so, consider working with a qualified coach (or, if you have severe trauma in your background, seek a licensed clinician specializing in trauma treatment).
You can also join WMA’s specialized group coaching program to help you release your Critical Voice’s beliefs and fears at the root — often permanently.
Without fears getting in the way, you can finally feel more confident and enjoy your mediumship learning journey!
Nancy Scheel, MS, and Lynn Karjala, PhD, are faculty with Whole Medium Academy™. They help accelerate students’ intuitive development through the Clear/Create/Transform™ approach to holistic personal growth. Dr. Karjala is originator of the Critical Voice concept. See her book, Healing Everyday Traumas.